How can you make sense of the senseless?

By now, the tragedy of what happened in Newtown, CT this morning has spread across the world.  I can tell you that I have been through waves of emotions today.  I was in shock when I heard.  As details started coming out, I was in disbelief.  My disbelief turned to sadness and now I find myself enraged.  I can't imagine what the parents and families of those killed today are going through.  Christmas is little more than a week away.  My goal this week, which I'm sure was the same for a lot of parents, was to finalize Christmas shopping and get my presents wrapped.  For some reason, I keep staring at the presents that sit under my tree.  Picked out, paid for, wrapped, and waiting for Christmas when they will be excitedly opened by my boys.  What about the presents that sit under the trees in Connecticut?  Christmas will come and go and some of the presents under those trees will remain wrapped.

I can't wrap my mind around why a person would do this...or how a person could do this.  How a human being, with a beating heart could look at a frightened child, raise a gun, aim it, and fire.  I wonder how such evil could exist.  I feel guilty for bringing two beautiful, innocent, loving children into this world.  What will this world be in 20 years?  50 years?

I have heard all day about the issue of gun control.  I am sure that the topic will be discussed over and over in the days and weeks ahead.  I don't think this is really the issue.  I think limiting the sale of guns or doing away with the right to have one only unarms innocent citizens.  Criminals will not follow any sort of gun legislation that is put in place.  People who want guns will get guns, one way or another.  The issue at hand is not necessarily gun control but a lack of morals in our society. 

Our society, as a whole, is sick.  TV shows like Jersey Shore or Real Housewives of Whatever, just to name a few, portray individuals who have no moral compass and these are the shows with ratings through the roof.  What is this teaching our children?  I had an 8th grade student last year that told me that she didn't need to do well in school because she was going to be a reality star.  Michael Vick is a hero for his athleticism while Tim Tebow is mocked for being a virgin and abstaining from alcohol.  Again, what is this teaching our children?

Tonight, as I read Big Brother a story before bed, I got emotional and could feel tears welling up in my eyes.  He looked at me and asked what was wrong.  I told him that I was sad because some little kids got hurt today.  My three year old gave me a hug and told me that it was okay and that he would kiss it and make it better.  If only that was all we needed...

We need to turn off the ridiculous reality shows that allow dysfunctional individuals to make money off being drunk and throwing punches.  This is not entertainment.  We need to talk to our children and teach them how to be productive members of society.  We need to stop expecting others to raise our children for us.  We need to give more hugs and kisses and less money to them.  I am not saying that this will rid the world of evil, but I personally think it's a start.  I can't handle the thought of sending my child off to school with the possibility that he might not come home.  I don't know how the families of those killed will ever be able to make sense of what happened.  Christmas will never be the same for them.  I don't know how the surviving students or staff will ever be able to walk into that school, or any school for that matter, without overwhelming anxiety.  Anytime a door slams or a book falls off a desk onto the floor, the sense of fear and panic that will run through them is unimaginable.

I feel that I could go on and on but it doesn't really matter.  I just feel I had to start typing our my mind would explode.  I don't know if any of this even makes sense to anyone but me.  I can't stop thinking about the parents of the victims who won't be reading a bedtime story to their child tonight; the school that lost a beloved principal; the parents of the surviving students who will have to help their children through what is sure to be a very difficult time ahead; and the the fact that come December 26th there will be unopened presents.

Please pray for these families and our world.